"...Ngozi my twins are almost due, I am sorry but I need the rooms" 

I am a 34 year old single mother of 3 kid’s ages 1, 4 and 5 years old. I did not plan my life like this. In a split second my whole life changed from a happy family setting to just a long struggle. My family abandoned me right from the moment I got married to Nkemka against their wishes. That was 10 years ago! I have heard nothing from them.  They did not like Nkemka because he did not have a degree and he worked as a sales rep at Mr Biggs. After we got married, Nkemka quit his job and opened up a restaurant of his own, it was doing very well, we had plans on expanding and having different chains in different cities in Nigeria. He was often invited to cook for some big names abroad, we were moving on up. Against my wishes, he took out a loan of N300,000,000 to expand the business across Nigeria. He put up all we had as collateral for this loan. Nkemka was a victim of fraud and lost all the money 2 days after he got it, which led to the heart attack that eventually took his life 14 months ago. Now my best friend is telling me that I have to move out of her house. My husband’s family are convinced, that I was the one that caused Nkemka to dream big and get a loan of that amount. This is not true, I fought him about this and he still did it. I cannot believe the whole world has literally left me and my children just like that! My family, my friends? How is this even possible that no one can help me when I need it! A question I go to bed asking myself.

I have nowhere to go and the money I make from work is just enough to pay school fees and daily upkeep. I don’t even have enough left over to rent a house. An old boyfriend of mine that I bumped into 2 weeks ago while I was trying to apply for a higher paying role, just asked me to move in with him, I am very aware that he has feelings for me, but I do not have feelings for him at all. At this point, I only have feelings for my children getting a great future and making it out of this mess that myself and their father put them into. He told me he will like to help me out. I don’t really need his money, I just need his house. Or else my kids and I will be homeless, this will give me some time to get back on my feet so that we can move out eventually. I know Tolu very well and I know he will be expecting a relationship, sex and love in return for his favour.  Is it bad that I have come to a stage where I am willing to sacrifice myself and my body so that my kids can have a roof under their heads?